I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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