It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
