Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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