walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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