Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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