No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
