Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
