It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
