Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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