K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
