When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
