You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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