the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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