my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
