Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
whose parrot is this?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
