he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
