You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
