isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
