Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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