Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
