she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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