i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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