my vag is so smooth its legendary
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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