Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
