No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I spit up blood this morning
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
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Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.