doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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