Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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