my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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