Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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