im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
