I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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