I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize