Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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