ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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