the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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