id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
