I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
