it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
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adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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