Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think your dad took our porno
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
