Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It was confusing and full of hummus
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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