He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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