Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
