Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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