is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
