Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize