"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
thus making me awesome and them whores
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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