He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
