Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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