Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
