I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
As shirtless as possible
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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