i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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