So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
