I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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