This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
