I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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