So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
