I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
