We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
