I looked at my own cervix.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
