I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.