I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand