I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week