i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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