As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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