You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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