what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
two words: eviction party
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Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
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He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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