when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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