Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
