we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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